Last days

My days are numbered. I know this and accept it. But the realisation that i will never get to see this beautiful sky, the softness of the water and sweet smell of lilies is maddening. I so want it to end right now. To be sucked into that hollow space quick and fast as if there is no tomorrow, so fast that i don't even know it happened. Yet fate had a different plan for me. Merciless slow passing. No pain no sickness, yet with days that are numbered. Death becomes the mere act of journeying on, yet that journey frightens me.