Walking Barefoot

As i thread this fenced lawn barefoot, i feel the world as i've never felt felt before. I feel the wind flow not by me, but through me. I feel the sun's rays wash me and purify my soul. In the light of death, i have started to live. I had 19 years to do so, but never did i take the time or patience to just be me, just take time for myself. Friends, relatives, work and fun................ never a moment alone. never wanted solitude. Mistakes too etched to erase. My heart bled for the time lost. Perhaps more than the time i was not destined to have. At that moment i wished death to envelope me in its cloak, remove this hate and despair and put me to rest. To seize my heart and hold it in tose cold hands for one final time. But alas this was not my time to go. This was not my time to leave for that journey, not yet. I watched the setting sun with admiration, and remembered that even the energy that lights up the whole world has just a days lifespan.
For the first time, i kneeled before natue, before the seting sun, and suddenly felt a touch of devine. All those time i knelt in the church, bowed before kali at my temple and bowed respectfully to the mosque, i had never felt this touch. But now here i felt god. I felt closer to him now in light of my end. My end............ seems too curious an expression.